thankful – dear brayden

Cause your whole heart’s a village, Everyone you love has built it, And I’ve been working there myself, And that’s where I’ll be, With a front-row seat, To watch you live your life well ~ Cam

 

Dear Brayden,

It was a long day; you were home sick with a horrible cough and quiet for most of the day. We were on the way to pick up your sister from school, since you stayed home with me, to rest, recoup and snuggle as much as we could. The car ride was quick, and unusually quiet because we decided not to bring Sadie with us, instead of bring her and let her chirp with excitement the closer we got to the pick up line like she usually does.

I glanced back to see if you were okay and held me breath.

There you were, so long and lean, quietly reading in your booster seat that makes you look bigger than I want you to be. I held my breath and exhaled long and slow.

dear-brayden

Thank you.

I continued to look at your while you were happily reading your newest book obsession. My shoulders relaxed and I took another long, slow breath…

Thank you, thank you for being YOU.

It dawned on me in that moment that I aside from today, I couldn’t remember the last time I really talked to you or spent time with you. My energy has gone 120% into your sister and most days are a blur as I lay my head down on my pillow. “I talked to him today? Everything is okay with Brayden? Right?

dear-brayden2

Thank you for being your sweet and easy self. It has been exactly what our family and your sister needs right now. Thank you for so generously giving up your time with me and allowing her to be the center of the household while she grows and changes the same way you did at her age. Remember that struggle? We talked about it a few weeks ago, when you placed your hand on my arm at dinner during one of her fits, “I remember 2nd grade and how hard it was for me.

I see your frustration and I thank you for softening and giving your sister the time and the space she needs to grow. I see you by her side at homework time trying to walk her through your favorite subject.

I see you and I’m thankful.

This week while I have been horribly sick, coughing, sneezing, tired and falling into bed earlier than usual, thank you for your snuggles. Thank you of checking in on me, asking to carry my purse when we are out and helping in any way you can.

I see you and I’m thankful.

I’m so happy to be your mom and to bear witness to the amazing person you are turning into. I know we’ve had our struggles and I know they will return somewhere down the line, but I am so thankful for you.

I’m sorry I haven’t been able to give YOU 120% of my energy and focus, but know that I see you and I am grateful for you, just the way you are.

Love,

Your Mama

dear-brayden1

2 Comment

  1. I’m choked up. This is lovely! 💕

    1. I was bawling when I wrote it. LOL! xoxo

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