Oh, Crystals.

The new hot trend popping up on almost every social media platform I follow. Not to sound like the snob you met at the music store back in the day, bragging about knowing the band before they were big while browsing obscure stoner rock vinyl in the back, but I was into crystals before they became all hipster trendy.

Just saying…

I carry them in my pocket almost daily, wear them in my bra, stash them all over the house, and when it comes time to charge them, I always forget where I hid them.

Do they hold magical powers of clearing and healing? Well, for me at least, no. However, they do act as a reminder and a guide for me when things get “swirly.”

People tend to laugh when they see them and or roll their eyes like, “What kind of hipster bullshit is this?” but how I came to crystals was quite healing, actually.

"Was I being too quiet and not firm enough? Why does she keep throwing fits? Was it something I did? Oh, shoot, I forget to get to the store, must go in the morning and get the following things: milk, bread, eggs, celery…Ugh, I need to keep preparing my celery, so it is easier in the morning for me. Why do I always do that? Why can’t I be better at consistency and following through with a good routine for my health? I need to make sure I call my mom in the morning, too; I worry about them since I don’t get to see them that often. I miss Stacey and need to make a wine night; remember to call her in the morning or check in with her to see how she is doing. I wonder if anyone ever thinks about me and worries about not checking in on me to see how I am doing. I should also double-check my list for the 50th Anniversary party to ensure we have everything done, and ugh, I still need to find a dress. I hate dresses; they never fit me right…”

And so it goes, in my mind ALL. NIGHT. LONG.

Needless to say, I deal with the type of anxiety you call “Looping Thoughts,” or as I like to call it, my swirly mind. It happens all day but tends to ramp up at night. Having a swirly mind keeps me up and affects my sleep, which leaves me groggy and unable to handle the next day and its emotions properly, which leads to even more looping thoughts, and thus the chaotic cycle continues.

I tried anti-anxiety meds in the past when I was newly married, a new mother, and didn’t have the energy and/or not willing to do the internal work I needed to do that came with my new phase of life and the increase in looping thoughts.

The problem with all the meds I tried was they kept leading to new side effects that required even more attention than I was in no place to give them. Ultimately, I was able to take enough for a long enough period to help dig me out of my mental hole. I was then in a place where I could start doing the internal work that I had not been able to tackle while so in the dark.

Internal work is long, difficult, and extremely uncomfortable. However, diving headfirst into my mind and how/why it loops was just the first step into dealing with this little annoying swirly friend that I know will be around forever.

Ok, back to crystals…I have learned over time, through therapy and trial and error, that when my mind begins its swirly show, having a tangible object outside my body and outside my mind to focus on and touch helps snap me out of it. Some people call this a totem, but I call it my crystals for me.

It started out as a paper clip in my pocket that I would trace when I would find myself in a looping daydream. Then when I lost that, it was my wedding ring that I would spin on my finger, but over time I became tired of having to wear jewelry all the time.

Crystals came into view when I was sitting with my longtime therapist, who is also an energy healer, and she noticed me fidgeting. She asked me if I had ever seen or touched crystals. At the time, I hadn’t, so she suggested I find a local crystal store, spend some time there and see what happens.

So, feeling a bit funny, I might add, I did just what she suggested. I sought out a local shop, went in, and walked around.

I didn’t ask any questions; I silently took in all the beautiful gems the shop had to offer. While browsing, one, in particular, caught my eye. It was about the size of my palm, jagged, clear, caught the light in such an attractive way, and I thought to myself, “that’s a really pretty stone.”

Not knowing it at the time, it was a clear quartz crystal that is said to bring “clarity to matters you are seeking.”

BINGO.

I bought it based on how lovely it looked and placed it on my bedside table.

That evening when the swirly friend arrived, I grabbed that jagged rock and ran my fingers over it slowly, focusing on how it felt, and fell back asleep in the process.

Stop rolling your eyes; it sounds hokey, I know, but it helps. I am SO in my mind 24/7 that I need a reminder to return to my body, and crystals help me with that.

I love that they are both beautiful to look at and beautiful because they each hold meaning. That day it was the crystal quartz I picked out, not knowing what it meant, but only by how pretty it was to look at. Since then, I have returned to that store repeatedly to add more stones to my collection based on what they mean and what they look like.

Some of my favorite crystal resources and overall vibes on Instagram if you are interested…

@SPIRITDAUGHTER • @ENERGYMUSE • @_COPPERMOON_ • @THECRYSTALBIBLE

You don't need some deep-seated reason to get into crystals, but for me, they have added such beauty and stillness to my life and mind. Maybe they can do the same for you…

*Important Disclaimer: Modern medicine and the development of anti-anxiety meds, anti-depression meds, and other drugs like them is profound and important. I believe that taking any type of medication should not be a shameful act, but I understand the stigma attached. This post is about MY choices and how the meds affected ME and not a judgment or suggestion for anyone else.

Take a listen; Indian Summer by Jai Wolf is the perfect backdrop to get your mystic vibes flowing.