read // daisy jones & the six
Daisy Jones & The Six is an interview-based coming-of-age novel about a band and the unique souls that make up its members. It tells the fictitious story of how the band came together and changed over time to become one of the most iconic bands of the 1970s.
I was initially drawn to this book because even though I love music and it's a rich part of my daily life, I have never read a book about the music industry or a band.
I loved the idea of how this fictional story would be told through interviews with each of the characters. Not only do you get each individual perspective, which I love because no two are ever the same, and everyone sees things from the lenses of their individual life story. But you get such a detailed feeling of what it was like to be not only alive in the 1970s, but what it was like to be a creative soul searching for ways to share your craft with the world.
I won't get into the FULL details of the book because I don't want to give away any spoilers to those that haven't read it yet, and that's not typically how I like to review books anyway. I will, however, share a few snippets from the book that truly touched me and gave me pause when reading.
Most of the passages that stayed with me are towards the end of the story when things were at their highest emotionally and were beginning to fall apart.
I don't relate or connect with people or situations in times of peace. It doesn't mean I don't want to share in your joys and highs; it just means I find connection through the lows and the learning that comes with it. So tell me how you succeeded, and I will share in your joy. I will be front and center cheering you on but tell me how you failed and what you learned about yourself during that process, and we will truly connect.
I am so drawn to the interpersonal relationships between people and the concept of how we are all walking stories of our lives and how they collide in silent and unspoken ways we don't even know.
People say they don't have baggage, but it's a lie.
We all have piles and piles of it. It comes with being human and shapes the way we see the world. I love being a spectator to the way people interact and come together. THIS was the most compelling part of this story, how all the band members came together and how messy, delicate, unspoken and emotional it all was for them to be around each other, let alone create an iconic album.
These are the passages that stuck with me and gave me pause while reading...
"You can't control another person. It doesn't matter how much you love them...But at some point, you have to recognize that you have no control over anybody, and you have to step back and be ready to catch them when they fall, and that's all you can do. It feels like throwing yourself to the sea. Or, maybe not that. Maybe it's more like throwing someone you love out to sea and then praying they float on their own, knowing they might well drown, and you'll have to watch." ~ Simone (page 299)
THIS. Ugh, this. I have read this repeatedly, even now, since I have finished the book. THIS sums up where I am as a parent right now. I am in transition in many ways right now, but this summed up how I have felt and helped me put those feelings into words as a parent.
My two are getting older, and I have changed how I parent them. As you do... I would love to say it's been a smooth transition, but it has not. It has and still is affecting me in ways I was unprepared for.
I need to step back hold them accountable in ways I am not used to. Be silent in times I would normally be loud. Learn to not take things personally and walk through things with them in a way I am not accustomed to.
This transition is much harder for me than for them. I am doing the self-work to make sure I deal with that in ways I see fit, but it still doesn't change the fact that it is difficult and uncomfortable daily.
The best way I can sum it up is when they were babies, I always felt like a mama duck with my little ducklings right behind me as I led the charge. Then as they grew to be toddlers, we were side by side, holding hands and going through life together. Now I am taking a step back and walking behind them. They are leading the way more and more, and I have to trust, just like Simone said, that when they leap into the sea, they will float and know they might well drown, and I will have to watch. I can no longer control them in the same ways I have been accustomed to, and that gives me both immense pride and fear all at the same time.
"...you show up for your friends on their hardest days. And you hold their hand through the roughest parts. Life is about who is holding your hand and, I think, whose hand you commit to holding." ~ Camila (page 302)
I loved this passage about friendship. Especially the line "..whose hand you commit to holding." Like I said before, I am in transition, and over the past year, I have made a conscious choice to examine the relationships in my life. I have examined whose hands I was committing to hold. As a result, I have made my circle smaller, and this choice has made me both uncomfortable and more peaceful at the same time.
I find during this stage in my life, when I doing so much self-work, I do not have the bandwidth to hold relationships in the way I have in the past. I have had to narrow my focus and invest in the people who have earned the right to share in my story. This makes me uncomfortable because it is selfish. I am not used to being selfish and usually place others before myself. But like I said, I don't have the same bandwidth I used to. This is by no means a negative reflection on those on the perimeter; it is a choice I have made to simplify my life at this time.
The unforeseen positive to this choice has added richness to those relationships I have chosen to protect and pursue. I have felt a deepening inside my heart for these people and have been able to tap into a fountain of giving, love, and pride for them I didn't have before. People say this happens as you get older. Still, for me, it has come during a time in which my focus has shifted solely inward, and the messiness of that needs to be protected and shared sparely.
"Camila looked at me for a moment, and then she said something that changed my life. She said, 'Don't count yourself out this early, Daisy. You're all sorts of things you don't even know yet.' That really stuck with me. That who I was wasn't entirely already determined. That there was still hope for me." ~ Daisy Jones (page 320)
This passage, for obvious reasons, stuck with me because it relates to transition. Let's see how often I can allude to the fact that I AM IN TRANSITION. (Insert eyeball here) However, it's true. I have been on a straight path for a while now that has come to a screeching halt. A fork in the road has presented itself to me, and I am currently still at that fork, figuring out which way I want to turn. Or if I even want to turn. Or if I need to get out a shovel and start digging a pathway that isn't even made yet. This is both a spiritual, physical, and emotional transition that is uncomfortable and time-consuming, but alas, necessary.
I need to heed Camila's advice, "Don't count yourself out this early, Sue." My life isn't made up for me, and my story hasn't already been written. I can make changes and go down roads that I haven't discovered yet. But, just like Daisy Jones, who I am isn't entirely already determined. Even at the ripe old age of 40.
So that's it for me on the Daisy Jones & The Six front. I know this isn't a normal book review, but that's what I love about books. You take what you need from them, chew on it for a while, then let it go off to the next person. It's why I read. I get lost in a story and expand my way of thinking and dig deeper when necessary.
Now it's your turn; I would love to know: Have you read this book? Did you like it? Do you relate to any of the passages that spoke to me? What spoke to you? I would truly love to know.
Plus, if you would like to purchase or want more information on this book and more traditional "book club questions," you can find those (affiliate link) HERE and HERE.
Happy reading, and until next time take a listen... THIS is what I pictured in my mind while reading this story. I pictured Daisy Jones & The Six's vibe being very similar to theirs...
